morganasbane

i can't sleep at night. i lay down and let the darkness take me. consume me. become me. as i lie there, awake but with sleeping body, i dream. i dream with eyes wide open; a vision in the vivid darkness. i see death... people come and people go, but is the soul eternal? people died today. who were they? i never knew them, but still, i'm sad? people will die tomorrow. will i feel the same? one day i'll be gone. will those who never knew me think about me as i do about others today? i sceam and... i fall... the moon stares me in the face. i see magick... femininity... mystery... it gives me power. i feel suddenly warm inside... i fly... t

i'm empty. there is nothing inside me. i am easily hurt, and my tangles of feelings often trap me... and yet, nothing phases me. this makes me empty. all i can feel is emptiness... the feeling that thaere is nothing in me but darkness. a black hole of sorts. and all i hear is my silence, constantly ringing in my ears...   i wish i could speak, but i never do. some find it to be unnerving. i find it to be a dangerous attraction. if i keep everything inside, it shields me from the opinions of others... but also, it adds up; it becomes all i can think about, the things that only i know. it begins to feel like a burden, a terrible curse t

"you deserve this moment"~? self-hatred is a terrible force; it makes you feel there is nothing. nothing in you. nothing around you. nothing for you. nothing left for believing in. just your own ugliness, the hollow shell your broken soul scratches at to try to escape from. it is cold, too cold for anyone to care. not even yourself. and that is how you got here, so high up... but you feel so low. all you see is the murky water. it reminds you of how you feel. dirty, cold, and angry... you think of how they laughed; you think of all their scorn. you think of how it twisted you, how you let it consume you as you lay awake all those ni

love... you fell for me i rise again... now come to me and bleed again whisper my name to coy silence reach for me i lure you in to play my game murmur "my love..."" i look to you it's not enough i feel your warmth i thirst for more mere words are nothing but dead to me... they do not sate this thirst for you please take me, break me, rape me, save me, i need so much more so warm, this red... the time is now give in to my arms now lay you down to bleed again

a little blush, shadow on your eyes, lipstick, nailpolish... and the face you see is a surprise. walking through the halls feeling confident and cool, and everyone believes it... Little Miss Makeup fools the school. Little Miss Makeup, what are you trying to hide? how you're so lonely, and crying yourself to sleep every night? she walks into class, a vision of grace looking so happy, a made-up smile on her face. Little Miss Makeup, what are you trying to hide? how you feel so outcast and lost inside? sitting at the lunch table, surrounded by her friends smiling, laughing; but wondering if they know she only pretend

i open my window to listen to rain i'm so disillusioned' trading smiles for pain ran from you, ran from me the rain makes it hard not to think of what could be put it on myself, it wasn't all you tore out my own heart... a hand me down for you could've been happy could;ve learned to care about more than myself you should've been spared can't let go can't leave behind all i've done to myself all screwed up inside so self-contained, so unaware you said good bye and now i care? the rain fell down and you walked away rain from my eyes dark drops run astray stood there for hours, watching though you were gone mira

"why are you like this? you just don't care, and i don't understand it!" 60... 65... "your self-esteem is zero, you're antisocial..." 80... 90... everything is such a blur... "this should be the best time of your life, but all you do is sit in your room drawing. you should be out having fun. nothing matters to you!" 95... a sign is approaching... "you have no common sense. there's no way you'll make it on your own." a wall of trees... no time to turn... i can't stop now. it's too late. i'm sorry mother, life just isn't worth it to me anymore...

four words. that's all it took. "i'm going to work." they were simple enough and easily understook. there seems to be no negative connotation in those words. but it was her tone. and how she walked out the door... left me shaking out of anger. so, i ran. as soon as i got outside. i was supposed to be on my way to school. but i ran the other way. i just wanted to get away. i wanted to run until i couldn't breathe. and then maybe i would fall... yes, it would be better that way. eventually, i did stop. but i didn't fall. i just stood there, looking at my reflection in the surface of a puddle. i stared for what felt like hours... i r

another day watching you reminds me life is not so far away i want to say so many things but instead say "another day..." tell myself you'll shoot me down again and again i tell myself you'll say no and leave me crying it's better you don't know but i should try can't miss my chance as all the todays go by and when tomorrow you are gone for you, only you i'll write another lonely song i've thought of too many reasons not to say it's you i love too many doubts so little time, writing lonely songs to get my feelings out so when tomorrow you are gone and i've said nothing i'll write another lonely song

night falls you call to me bring me to the point where i can barely breathe run your hands through my hair so drunk up on you... but too taken to care touching my body every sweet sensation look into your eyes can't resist this temptation lips blood red eyes undead into the darkness... i am led

Frigid water levelling over my face cold in my skull- Frozen, the wait. The never come. The want, the when. My. lack of air. Veins look so cold, all blue and small and lonely. Yet this blood is so hot- Dreaming the life of me. Draining the life from me. I think I fell to heaven. So sad and wet and I can’t breathe White horses, Snow ridden kingdoms Dead girls stuck in sea weed. Heart is like a wave, Rolling, rolling in wants to touch the rocks, and breaks. Here I am in heaven, Drowning, drowning slowly- I want to jump off now. And so I fade...